Premarital Deception

Before I was married and even before I had met someone remotely marry-able (that's a word, right), I had stipulations and requirements.

1. He had to be liberal and open-minded.
2. He had to possess a generous spirit.
3. He had to be adventurous.
4. He must have no PDA hang-ups.
5. He absolutley, positively could not be a sports fanatic - no football, baseball, basketball, Nascar, etc, etc. I was having none of it. I wasn't willing to share my husband with the television during various sports seasons.

I guess I didn't count on marrying a Brit.

Greg met all of my requirements, especially in the sports department. Being a Brit, he had no interest in football, baseball, basketball, Nascar, etc, etc. What I hadn't counted on was his undying love of all sports un-American. Formula 1, soccer, cricket - these are all sports that were off my radar. Its not that they're really un-American. Its just that Americans typically don't consider these major spectator sports. At least, not compared to Europeans. So this little slice of Greg slid past me undetected until it was too late.

Only after I was hooked, did his fanaticism shine through. Only then did I get a glimpse of the rabid, screaming, jumping, pumping, crazed lunatic that was my husband during Watford soccer matches or following Lewis Hamilton during Formula 1 races. This week-end I had another surprise. England played against France in the Rugby World Cup semi-finals. I was rudely woken by Greg's high-pitched screams as England scored a tri (?) within the first few minutes of the game. Then I received 5-minute reports on the progress. Not that I understood what the hell he was saying to me, but apparently it was important to him that I know these things. When his tone was glum, my job was to give him a conciliatory Ah, babe, that sucks! And when he sounded giddy and excited, I was to yell WooHoo! up to him. It seemed to work.

Anyway, England fell behind and stayed there for most of the game. Only in the last few minutes, did they turn it around and score again to win! At this moment as I looked up into our loft office, this is what I witnessed:


See! Doesn't he look absolutely maniacal here? How did I not see this before? How did he keep it hidden?

Well, regardless, its definitely too late now. All I can hope for at this point is that it doesn't spread to football, baseball, basketball, Nascar, etc, etc... Wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it.