Our friend Kenan sent this, and it made me chuckle so I thought I'd share:
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Happy Anniversary to Us!
Our marriage is two years old today! Yay!
Happy anniversary, my shumma.
I love you more than all the stars in the sky
and the fishes in the sea...
Happy anniversary, my shumma.
I love you more than all the stars in the sky
and the fishes in the sea...
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Home Fancification
Improvement #1:
For Christmas, my mom gave Greg and I a big check and said Buy yourself something pretty. Well, no. Actually she told us it was for a new living room rug. Four months later and we've finally committed to one. And look! It is pretty.
I want to find burgundy and deep red throw pillows for our couches. I might even try to sew a few of them myself.
Improvement #2:
When we moved into our house in October 2005, we had to immediately replace the leaking kitchen faucet so we chose and painfully installed this $90 Kohler model.
About a year and 2 months later, two months after the warranty expired (naturally), the handle broke off. It was still functional so we kept using it until recently when it started leaking as well. Is it unreasonable to expect a kitchen faucet to last longer than 2 years? Apparently Kohler thinks so.
Last week-end we bought a new one. A $230 Delta! And went through the contorting and swearing necessary when attempting home DIY projects. Or rather, Greg did. I was his assistant.
And taa-daaaa! It's so purty - actually a little too purty for our ugly counters but that will have to wait a bit longer for an update. This one has a much higher faucet to fit the big pans in our sink. There's a sprayer and a below-the-sink soap dispenser.
If this one poops out after 2 years, I may just kill someone...
Improvement #3:
I've heard a few horror stories lately about houses being ruined due to water leaks. So many, in fact, that I've become completely paranoid about it. Today Greg and I bought new hoses for our washing machine and toilets. They have a special valve in them that will cut off the water supply if there is a leak anywhere in the downstream process. If we ever had a burst pipe or whatever, these valves would minimize the potential water damage. We're installing them tomorrow.
Improvement #4:
We spent a small fortune at Home Depot this week-end on deck supplies. Since we moved in, we've done absolutely no maintenance on our huge, beautiful deck in the backyard. It was high time we got off our butts and did something about it.
This process is going to be long and tedious. First we strip the old stain, then treat for mildew, then wash and neutralize the chemicals. The next day, we paint with a new stain and sealant. Sounds like fun, right!
The week-end was supposed to be dedicated to that process, but with impending threats of thunderstorms that have yet to appear (man, these meteorologists do enjoy their 15 minutes of fame...), we decided to hold off. All I can say is that it had better rain tonight or tomorrow...
For Christmas, my mom gave Greg and I a big check and said Buy yourself something pretty. Well, no. Actually she told us it was for a new living room rug. Four months later and we've finally committed to one. And look! It is pretty.
I want to find burgundy and deep red throw pillows for our couches. I might even try to sew a few of them myself.
Improvement #2:
When we moved into our house in October 2005, we had to immediately replace the leaking kitchen faucet so we chose and painfully installed this $90 Kohler model.
About a year and 2 months later, two months after the warranty expired (naturally), the handle broke off. It was still functional so we kept using it until recently when it started leaking as well. Is it unreasonable to expect a kitchen faucet to last longer than 2 years? Apparently Kohler thinks so.
Last week-end we bought a new one. A $230 Delta! And went through the contorting and swearing necessary when attempting home DIY projects. Or rather, Greg did. I was his assistant.
And taa-daaaa! It's so purty - actually a little too purty for our ugly counters but that will have to wait a bit longer for an update. This one has a much higher faucet to fit the big pans in our sink. There's a sprayer and a below-the-sink soap dispenser.
If this one poops out after 2 years, I may just kill someone...Improvement #3:
I've heard a few horror stories lately about houses being ruined due to water leaks. So many, in fact, that I've become completely paranoid about it. Today Greg and I bought new hoses for our washing machine and toilets. They have a special valve in them that will cut off the water supply if there is a leak anywhere in the downstream process. If we ever had a burst pipe or whatever, these valves would minimize the potential water damage. We're installing them tomorrow.
Improvement #4:
We spent a small fortune at Home Depot this week-end on deck supplies. Since we moved in, we've done absolutely no maintenance on our huge, beautiful deck in the backyard. It was high time we got off our butts and did something about it.
This process is going to be long and tedious. First we strip the old stain, then treat for mildew, then wash and neutralize the chemicals. The next day, we paint with a new stain and sealant. Sounds like fun, right!
The week-end was supposed to be dedicated to that process, but with impending threats of thunderstorms that have yet to appear (man, these meteorologists do enjoy their 15 minutes of fame...), we decided to hold off. All I can say is that it had better rain tonight or tomorrow...
Six Word Story
Atop underwear thrown, she reigns supreme.This is pretty typical 'round these parts. Greg and I can't do laundry at our house without the kitties interrupting our work, wallowing in our clothing, contaminating every surface with little, orange hairs. They see the laundry basket as their own personal playground. Lani will purr and purr while she rolls and stretches and buries herself in the mounds of fresh, clean clothes. If we shed a jacket or sweater and throw it across the couch, she makes a B-line, perches herself on top and has a nice, little nap. Usually we can't bring ourselves to disturb her slumber because we know it makes her so happy. So we just have to wait until she wakes up and is distracted enough to leave her haven unattended before we snatch it up, shake it out and hide it away.
Gomez, on the other hand, prefers the dirty clothes because he is a filthy, filthy beast. :)
The closest I've seen him to reaching nirvana is when he finds my sweaty post-run work-out clothes on the bathroom floor, collapses on them, and proceeds to rub the stink all over his body. I know this is just his instinct to make himself as gross as possible, but it simultaneously entertains and repulses Greg and I when we stumble upon him in the throes of ecstasy. One side of me wants to snatch the offending garment away in horror, and the other side feels compelled to silently tiptoe out of the room and leave him to his business. It feels like a distinctly private moment, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
Ok, I'll say no more.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I Guess We're Just at That Age...
Seems like I'm posting about a lot of new babies these days. While it does nothing to ease my slow-simmering fever, this post isn't about me and my ticking time bomb...
Today we received much-anticipated news from Greg's friends back in England, Shirley and Stuart. On April 22nd - same b-day as my sister - Shirley gave birth to their first son Elliot Jude (7 lbs, 15 oz)! Dad reports that Elliot is "an absolute stunner" and that Mum and baby are doing well and resting at home.
It's been an extremely rough ride for these two in the last couple of years, filled with elation and heart-break. We'd received a few cryptic emails implying that good news was on the way and have been holding our breath on this end, hoping to hear exactly this. We couldn't be happier for the new family.
Congrats, guys, and best of luck to all three of you!
Today we received much-anticipated news from Greg's friends back in England, Shirley and Stuart. On April 22nd - same b-day as my sister - Shirley gave birth to their first son Elliot Jude (7 lbs, 15 oz)! Dad reports that Elliot is "an absolute stunner" and that Mum and baby are doing well and resting at home.
It's been an extremely rough ride for these two in the last couple of years, filled with elation and heart-break. We'd received a few cryptic emails implying that good news was on the way and have been holding our breath on this end, hoping to hear exactly this. We couldn't be happier for the new family.
Congrats, guys, and best of luck to all three of you!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
To Further Elaborate on the Post Below...
Z Tejas drinks last night:
- watermelon margarita = fabulous
- apple margarita = nothing to write home about
- fusion margarita = flavor-distinction mechanism inebriated; unqualified to pass judgment
- mango margarita = highly enjoyable
- peach margarita = wait, did I taste-test that one?
- Grad school leads to low-grade alcoholism. Further research suggested.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
May I Just Say...
...the watermelon margaritas at Z Tejas are A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
Celebrated Mel's 29th b-day tonight. Mel, I'm apologizing to you right now for the few posts below...
LOVE YOU!
your big sis L
Celebrated Mel's 29th b-day tonight. Mel, I'm apologizing to you right now for the few posts below...
LOVE YOU!
your big sis L
Onward and Upward
Ok, now that I'm calm, cool and collected, I can elaborate on the Dreaded Committee Meeting of last week.
(Warning: if you're not a science geek or grad student, you may just want to stop reading right now...)
Basically, my committee is awesome. Its made up of my boss and 4 other profs - 2 biochemists, 1 immunologist, and 1 biomedical engineer. I have a good rapport with the biochemists; it was the other two that had me worried. I haven't had much interaction with either of them previously - I collaborated with a student in the engineer's group but those experiments didn't yield good results - and I didn't know how mean they would be to me. (I've heard horror stories, but admittedly they've been from students in other departments. Politics in my department don't seem to be as cut-throat as in some others. Thank goodness!) Plus, they were the two with the most knowledge about the kind of work I do so I was really paranoid about their reactions to my research so far.
But as it turns out, and as I stated earlier, they were awesome. They offered a lot of great insights and suggestions - so much so that I really wish I had set up this meeting a long time ago, but I can't do anything about that now so oh well. Onward and upward, right.
The upshot is basically that the last, major experiment I was proposing is being tossed out the window and replaced by other, more manageable experiments (good) that will require me to learn new methodologies (a bit intimidating but good experience) and also have a better chance of yielding positive results (very good).
And my old experiments aren't being completely discarded. Instead, we're trying to convince a potential collaborator at the medical school, who has much more experience dealing with my virus, to possibly take those over (or at the least be willing to hold my hand through the process). So far we've been shooting emails back and forth, but we'll try to teleconference with him tomorrow about possibilities. As always the major hurdle is money, which unfortunately has all but dried up on our end. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because these experiments would definitely be the icing on the cake for my dissertation.
Anyway, I'm doing lots of reading on the new techniques I'll need to employ, tracking down resources, finding people who will allow me to pick their brains, all that fun stuff that researchers do before they dive head first into new experiments. For the next few months, I will be holed up in lab and don't plan on seeing much of my husband, but hopefully all this hard work will end in a PhD.
Wish me luck. And if you happen to have special skills in transfecting mammalian cells, membrane protein purification, fast protein liquid chromatography, Maldi-TOF/TOF mass spectrometry, or fluorescence activated cell sorting, I'd like to talk to you! :)
(Warning: if you're not a science geek or grad student, you may just want to stop reading right now...)
Basically, my committee is awesome. Its made up of my boss and 4 other profs - 2 biochemists, 1 immunologist, and 1 biomedical engineer. I have a good rapport with the biochemists; it was the other two that had me worried. I haven't had much interaction with either of them previously - I collaborated with a student in the engineer's group but those experiments didn't yield good results - and I didn't know how mean they would be to me. (I've heard horror stories, but admittedly they've been from students in other departments. Politics in my department don't seem to be as cut-throat as in some others. Thank goodness!) Plus, they were the two with the most knowledge about the kind of work I do so I was really paranoid about their reactions to my research so far.
But as it turns out, and as I stated earlier, they were awesome. They offered a lot of great insights and suggestions - so much so that I really wish I had set up this meeting a long time ago, but I can't do anything about that now so oh well. Onward and upward, right.
The upshot is basically that the last, major experiment I was proposing is being tossed out the window and replaced by other, more manageable experiments (good) that will require me to learn new methodologies (a bit intimidating but good experience) and also have a better chance of yielding positive results (very good).
And my old experiments aren't being completely discarded. Instead, we're trying to convince a potential collaborator at the medical school, who has much more experience dealing with my virus, to possibly take those over (or at the least be willing to hold my hand through the process). So far we've been shooting emails back and forth, but we'll try to teleconference with him tomorrow about possibilities. As always the major hurdle is money, which unfortunately has all but dried up on our end. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because these experiments would definitely be the icing on the cake for my dissertation.
Anyway, I'm doing lots of reading on the new techniques I'll need to employ, tracking down resources, finding people who will allow me to pick their brains, all that fun stuff that researchers do before they dive head first into new experiments. For the next few months, I will be holed up in lab and don't plan on seeing much of my husband, but hopefully all this hard work will end in a PhD.
Wish me luck. And if you happen to have special skills in transfecting mammalian cells, membrane protein purification, fast protein liquid chromatography, Maldi-TOF/TOF mass spectrometry, or fluorescence activated cell sorting, I'd like to talk to you! :)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Major Melody Melt-Down, Number 1.5
7:37 a.m. : My sister called me this morning in absolute hysterics.
When I answered the phone, she was in the throes of a full-on, blood-curdling, frantic SCREAM. I cannot even describe adequately what I heard. I thought she was being murdered! I seriously had a flash of her fighting off some crazed, knife-wielding homicidal maniac while I had to sit there powerless, witnessing this horrific, tragic scene from my cell phone.
I was on the other end, panicking and yelling, "Mel?!? Mel?!? MEL?!?"
Just as I was about to yell for Greg to call 9-1-1, the scream broke into sobs.
Turns out she was just on her way to a testing facility to take the last exam that will complete her teaching certification. She had 23 minutes to make it there in time. And she was lost.
And now I. Was. PISSED.
I am a hard-wired worrier, and you do not do crap like that to worriers!
I used to have nightmares as a kid of people breaking into our house and murdering my entire family while I slept. I was an 11-year-old kid diagnosed with spastic colitis, an affliction usually reserved for 50-year-old stressed-out men with ulcers and high blood pressure. My bowels would twist into knots and cause an excruciating pain in my side. The mere smell or even thought of food would make me vomit. I couldn't sleep so I would just lie in my bed contorted, squeezing my side until my hands cramped. It was awful.
Over the years I've mostly outgrown it, but even now I'm still a worry-wart. I have daymares of things happening to Greg. I hear about car wrecks on the highway and send a silent prayer out to the cosmos that it didn't involve my husband. I hear about crazy people doing crazy things, and then scenarios of my loved ones being hurt by these crazy people dance in my head temporarily. Its completely irrational - I realize this - but I just can't help it.
But then to answer the phone this morning to THAT when absolutely NOTHING was wrong with Melody, except the fact that she was lost... I could have killed her.
But I remained calm though because, quite frankly, one of us had to. Greg and I rushed up to open mapquest.com to find out where she had gone wrong and direct her back. We were working it out, making progress. But Mel was still losing. her. shite. on the phone with me. Finally after one hysterical sob too many, I'd had it. In my meanest, harshest, loudest voice ever, I screamed at her into the phone. "THAT'S IT, MELODY! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND FUCKINGPULLYOURSELF TOGETHER!"
I don't know if my tone or my words finally shocked her back to reality, but that seemed to do the trick. With a few gasps of air, she finally stifled her sobs, cleared her throat and adopted a more cool-headed tone. We eventually got her to the testing center with 3 minutes to spare. She got to take the test. All is right with the world again.
But man... I hate busting out my angry voice and dropping f-bombs. Especially at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. That's just not right.
When I answered the phone, she was in the throes of a full-on, blood-curdling, frantic SCREAM. I cannot even describe adequately what I heard. I thought she was being murdered! I seriously had a flash of her fighting off some crazed, knife-wielding homicidal maniac while I had to sit there powerless, witnessing this horrific, tragic scene from my cell phone.
I was on the other end, panicking and yelling, "Mel?!? Mel?!? MEL?!?"
Just as I was about to yell for Greg to call 9-1-1, the scream broke into sobs.
Turns out she was just on her way to a testing facility to take the last exam that will complete her teaching certification. She had 23 minutes to make it there in time. And she was lost.
And now I. Was. PISSED.
I am a hard-wired worrier, and you do not do crap like that to worriers!
I used to have nightmares as a kid of people breaking into our house and murdering my entire family while I slept. I was an 11-year-old kid diagnosed with spastic colitis, an affliction usually reserved for 50-year-old stressed-out men with ulcers and high blood pressure. My bowels would twist into knots and cause an excruciating pain in my side. The mere smell or even thought of food would make me vomit. I couldn't sleep so I would just lie in my bed contorted, squeezing my side until my hands cramped. It was awful.
Over the years I've mostly outgrown it, but even now I'm still a worry-wart. I have daymares of things happening to Greg. I hear about car wrecks on the highway and send a silent prayer out to the cosmos that it didn't involve my husband. I hear about crazy people doing crazy things, and then scenarios of my loved ones being hurt by these crazy people dance in my head temporarily. Its completely irrational - I realize this - but I just can't help it.
But then to answer the phone this morning to THAT when absolutely NOTHING was wrong with Melody, except the fact that she was lost... I could have killed her.
But I remained calm though because, quite frankly, one of us had to. Greg and I rushed up to open mapquest.com to find out where she had gone wrong and direct her back. We were working it out, making progress. But Mel was still losing. her. shite. on the phone with me. Finally after one hysterical sob too many, I'd had it. In my meanest, harshest, loudest voice ever, I screamed at her into the phone. "THAT'S IT, MELODY! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND FUCKINGPULLYOURSELF TOGETHER!"
I don't know if my tone or my words finally shocked her back to reality, but that seemed to do the trick. With a few gasps of air, she finally stifled her sobs, cleared her throat and adopted a more cool-headed tone. We eventually got her to the testing center with 3 minutes to spare. She got to take the test. All is right with the world again.
But man... I hate busting out my angry voice and dropping f-bombs. Especially at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. That's just not right.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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