Thirty-one. Three One. 3-1.
Deep breath. Its only a number. Its only a number. Its only a number...
This morning as the realization sank just a bit deeper, I started taking stock. Its only natural that since I'm here at work and feeling swamped that I immediately focused on the negative aspects. Here goes:
- I'm still in grad school, nervously & anxiously fretting about the outcome of this loooooong interlude in my life.
- I'm still running experiments that probably will not work.
- I need to be writing my dissertation at the same time.
- I may or may not have bitten off more than I can chew with this class that I'm taking over.
- Soon I'll be out - one way or another- and I'll have to find a "real" job.
- I'm surrounded by pregnant women.
- As of tomorrow, we will be sharing our house with my little sister for some months, which is not really a negative until I remember how bitterly we used to fight as kids. And this worries me.
- I'm a full-blown allergy sufferer now.
I am one overwhelmed, sometimes-frantic, often-crying stress-ball.
The most logical short-term remedy? Pampering. Definitely.
Yesterday I had my hair cut and highlighted. (Yes, Mom, I highlighted my hair! No lectures!) Tomorrow I'm getting a pedicure, a gift from my birthday last year. (Thanks, Claus & Morgan!) And my lovely husband has organized a little party for later that night. This week-end I'm hoping to relax and catch up with the family - my mom, brother and sister will all be here- and take a little reprieve from the worry.
And I'm also going to force myself to come up with a more positive list for taking stock. This is no way to start a new year in my life.
p.s. Ewa, I got your birthday card yesterday. Thank you! It had a big sparkly high-heeled shoe on it surrounded by little (shoe?) fairies. Plus, I have a $10 discount at DSW. I think that's a sign if I've ever seen one.
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