Should I Be Worried?

So there's a new undergrad working in our lab at the moment. I don't know his name. Haven't been introduced - scientists are sometimes socially retarded like that - but he's working with the other group sharing our lab space. Ex-military - I do know that much. But here's the thing that has me slightly wary...

A few times today he's sat down at the computer next to my desk and gone about his business but in a highly suspect and unnerving manner. No idea what he's doing over there, but every now and then he seems to get extremely agitated. But in this weird silently explosive way.

So the first incident involved him reeling back from the screen, followed by aggressive rocking in his chair. Now I've been known to dance in my seat from time to time so far be it for me to pass judgment on someone else who is overcome by the sudden urge to groove. But his brand of rocking implied to me an intense flare of anger, requiring the convection of air around his head to cool the fires of a deep, burning desire to kill.

Then during the next episode, following about 30 minutes later, it happened again. But this time instead of the rocking there was a quick forward, downward thrust of the head, accompanied by clinched fists and arms shaking with rage. Perhaps he was trying to hide his face from me behind the CPU, separating his desk from mine? Maybe he was resisting the urge to punch something or someone? What is going on here???

The whole time this is happening, I'm concentrating on keeping my eyes steadily trained on my own computer screen and am in no way acknowledging that I am witnessing anything out of the ordinary or possibly life threatening. But part of me wants to scoot my chair just a few inches to the right and my posture is of the sort ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. Oh, yes, the fight or flight instinct is strong in this one, folks. I will go down swinging.

Yes. It is entirely possible that I am suffering from an extremely over-active imagination and/or experiencing early warning signs of paranoia often associated with schizophrenic dementia. However, just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Therefore if I end up mysteriously murdered, I'd like one of you, dear readers, to please inform the police of these incidents and my concerns surrounding them. Thank you. Good night and good luck.

p.s. I love you, Greg, mom, Mel, Trav, Dad, Mr. Mac, Gomez, Noelani, friends and family.

A Resounding Ehhh...

Starbuck's grande non-fat honey latte = so not worth my $3.95 + tax

My first SB coffee all month. What a waste.

Nature vs. Nurture

Its funny, and somewhat frightening, how living with my sister for the first time in 12 years has led to occasional digressions into my formerly exorcised, obnoxious teenage self.

I thought that girl was all grown up. Or dead - killed by sheer will power and a little life experience. Apparently not. She's beginning to stir from hibernation.

I've noticed a recent surge in belching around the house. And once, I regret to report, in public. Walking down 4th street no less! I think some random guy actually turned around to find the source of such crudery. Imagine the shock he must have felt to find two prissy girls dressed for bar-hopping instead of idiotic pubescent boys. Yikes. Gotta rein that kind of behavior in! Or at least save it for the privacy of my own living room and not inflict it on the general public.

My tongue seems to have sharpened itself a bit more lately too. I'm blaming it on muscle memory. Delivering whithering insults used to be a particular hobby of mine, and one that I was rather skilled at. In fact, it was my favorite. I'm not quite in fighting shape yet. And I filter the worst of it (for the most part). I'm hoping it stays that way.

But its not just me. Oh no. Mel actually spit water at me through the gap in her two front teeth tonight. Oh yes, she did. And now its a matter of public record.

Big Sister's Revenge, sucka! Bwaahaaahaaahaaa! see that... another example of my steady decline...


But I'm happy to report that aside from these momentary lapses, things have been relatively smooth so far. All things considered... :)

Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

Greg is soon to be an internet STAR!

Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But his company is having him take professional photos today so that his smiling face will appear as one of a few friendly, helpful scientists greeting customers as they peruse the company website. That's cool, right!

The best part for me personally is the fact that they have a professional hair stylist and makeup artist to pretty him up for the shoot. That's right - my husband is having his first brush with dragdom today. Awesome. :)

I called him to beg that he not wash it off before he gets home so I can take full advantage in this supreme opportunity to make fun of him tonight. And you know what. He's cool enough to oblige my every whim so he's doing his best to preserve the effects for my benefit. What a champ! I love a man secure enough in his own sexuality that he's willing to sport makeup all day just for me.



***Update***

To be honest, the buildup was way better than the reality. I'm a bit disappointed. I was expecting a full-on theater-type freakshow. No such luck. All they did was even out his skin tone a bit. No blush. No mascara. The slight lip color they applied had already vanished. My revelry was greatly diminished. Damn! And I had such high hopes.

One cool thing though - few people know this, but I actually have been cutting Greg's hair almost exclusively for the last few years. I used to hate doing it. I was terrified of disfiguring him - even momentarily - with my total lack of skill or training in the hair styling department. Greg, of course, could care less. All he cares about is the fact that we don't have to drop $40 on his haircuts every few months. I've done it so often now that its far less painful. Now I just cut great wodges of hair with wild abandon and am done with it. Plus, I get shoe-buying bonus points every time I do it so the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks for me. Well, apparently this lady was really impressed by my handiwork. She only had to straighten out some of his side burns to make him all symmetrical and perfect.

I won't lie. I'm proud of myself. Maybe I'll add that to my resume.

Congrats and Condoms

On Friday afternoon our friends Brad and Alisha welcomed to the world their second sweet baby girl, Elizabeth Grace.

And just this morning Claus and Morgan gave birth to their tiny son, August Elholm.


Best wishes and my most heart-felt congratulations to our friends. Their lives are so enriched and blessed by their new little ones. I'm truly, truly happy for you all.




Now, for the rest of us, I leave you with this sobering reminder:



In case, you know, you started feeling any maternal pangs or if that damn tick-tocking clock starts acting up again...

I'm With You On This One, David

Neither Greg nor I are very techno-savvy. In fact, new technology scares us - both cost-wise and from general feelings of total gadget inadequacy. We will be the last kids on the block who own a Wii. I don't know what Blue-Ray/Blue-Tooth is (are these the same thing?). I still can't figure out mobile blogging. And what's an RSS feed? I have no idea, although I think I use them... We finally broke down and got cell phones only because I'm a worrier. We barely bought our first computer AFTER the millennium, man. It's embarassing really.

But that's also why this public service announcement from David Lynch about the iPhone made me giggle just a little bit.

*Beware of the language, just in case you're spending your productive "working" hours blog-surfing...

Bacterial Love

A late Valentine message from my amorous E. coli.

I hope you all had a fantastic V-day, whether you're too cool to really acknowledge it or not.

Greg and I went to see Juno, a super-cute movie about a knocked-up teenager who plans to give her baby to an infertile and slightly dysfunctional couple. Two thumbs up. Then we walked ourselves and our warm-n-fuzzies over to La Madeleine for a light dinner. We had a really great date night, a perfect way to break up a stressful week.

Happy Valentine's day, everyone.

Birthday Recap

Since I've obviously just downloaded pics from my camera, I will now treat you to a full-on barrage of photos from my 31st birthday celebration. Whether you like it or not.

Dilek & JimBEAU

Dilek baked me a red velvet cake! From scratch!

Glenn & Jim doing their part in making a dent in our whiskey. Neither Greg nor I like it but we'd somehow amassed quite a collection so that was the mission, should they choose to accept it, for the evening.

Happy birthday to ME!

Spitting out the candles...

Greg surprised me with a HUGE Tecate-shaped piñata. Somehow they managed to sneak it in, hook it up, and get everything ready while I was standing in the kitchen completely oblivious. Yo soy muy impressed!

The reinactment of destruction. Let me tell you, that sucker was HARD to bust open. I was swinging the shit out of that club before it made the slightest dent. (Although it probably didn't help that I was terrified of hitting either the wall OR my guests...)

The Cool Kids who hung out until 4:30 a.m., baby!

Those chairs are mighty slippery after you've had a few... Lance feels my pain.

Its my party, dammit, so if I say we stay up all night playing board games, then by golly, that's what we'll do!



Thanks everyone for a super-duper über-fantastic scrumdiddlyumptious birthday!
I love you all! Besos para todos!!
(Tecate-inspired Spanish... and a little German for spice.)

Man Boobs

We hosted a mixed baby shower for our friends Claus and Morgan on Sunday evening. The happy couple is expecting on March 3rd. But in the meantime they get to open pressies galore.

What was their favorite gift?

The baby changing pads? Nah. All the cutesy clothes? Nope. The sling? Uh-uh.

It was Claus's papier-mâché boobs!


Mark and Brianna were worried that he'd be jealous of all the baby bonding time so they whipped him up a pair, complete with nips and all. That's all class, guys.

The Science Nerd Inside Does a Happy Dance

My friend Shelley buzzed through town on her whirlwind Friends n' Family tour o' Texas this week. And guess what she brought me for my birthday...


An AWESOME fully-contained, glowing ant farm! Don't ask me what inspired this. I couldn't tell you. All I know is I LOVE IT! :) My hubby and sister are totally jealous too.

The gel contains all the food and moisture the little suckers could ask for so there's little danger of my killing them by neglect. Bonus. I was planning on bringing this bad boy to my office and displaying it alongside my Mr. T chia head.


But under protests from Greg and Mel, I think this one will have to stay at home instead.

I'm mailing off my little ant order form so in just 3-6 weeks, my big block o' gel will transform into a thriving metropolis of industriousness. I will be sure to keep you updated on the progress...